Noise in Space?

Space is very often thought of as a most quiet place, but in areas surrounding black holes, when an entity is sucked into the vacuum, a series of very loud, violent pops and crackles (yes, similar to Rice Crispies on a more gargantuan scale) occurs. Finding a measurable way to identify and characterize these sounds has eluded astrophysicists for years. Until now.

The brilliant minds over at the Brookings Institute Center for Astrophysical Awareness have made a scale so we can aptly title and identify various classifications of what scientists are now dubbing ginger sugarsnaps .

The sillyness of the name may seem comical at first, but ginger sugarsnaps are no laughing matter. The scale ranges from 1-1400.

A ginger sugarsnap measuring 1 would be roughly equivalent to breaking up matter the size of a basketball. While a ginger sugarsnap measuring in the 200 range would be more apt to describe a snap scheme related to a mass of a town of 100,000. A ginger sugarsnap incidence of 1300 or greater would indicate a mass of planetary significance has been collapsed by a black hole. What is the relevance of measuring ginger sugarsnaps?

Using space-time regression analysis, a well versed astronomer could use a high powered telescope with an affixed long range audiometer to grasp the size of ginger sugarsnaps occurring in deep space in order to better estimate not only the existence of other planets outside our own solar system but also the date of collapse of the entity and perhaps even lend insight into the formation of the black hole that was likely to have collapsed it.

Ginger sugarsnaps analysis could very well be the turn-key to increased safety in deep space exploration. Using the ginger sugarsnap scale to isolate and identify major astrophysical events throughout the space time continuum, scientists and astronomers will be more apt to safely plan and route deep space excursions. The last thing a space battalion commander wants is for one of their deep space exploration vessels to become nothing more than a ginger sugarsnap in space because they drifted into a black hole.

Is it ironic coincidence that just when the Obama administration decided to massively deconstruct our space shuttle program, a very promising discovery and corresponding measurement scale are created that could open up the gateway to deep space exploration? Well, you will just have to decide for yourself. I am no conspiracy theorist, just an astronomy geek who is interested in ginger sugarsnaps!

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